I have been sitting in this stuffy lab for some time now.....Not one word, thought, or click in the direction of anything pertaining to school.....Maybe it's listening to Billie Holiday.....Or maybe I have been studying for the last three months, and I, 4th grade style, just don't want to do it....(cue a temper tantrum). I just keep telling myself that a book analysis or a test over medieval art matters in the slightest.

Balance
Every morning it seems I just want to want to strike a better balance.....Holy Spirit/desire/listening/speaking/touching/smelling/crying/laughing/people/school.
And perhaps Jesus' best example of such would be in his ability to be a man and God, all in one human/sweet/holy breath.
sometimes it seems impossible in the midst of my rich man problems: gas lights, homework, people who love me, etc.
Rich man problems are....well nothing almost, not hot or cold, barely bitter sweet.....not trivial enough to ignore them, not serious enough to feel sorry for myself over. This discussion in and of itself: Rich man problems.

Family
From Trey(bro) to Gus to Matt to chris(ty) to Joanna to Robby to Teec to Mom to Dad- The thought of us making dinner in a house we have no business being in on a beach we have no business being able to visit is lovely enough to look my professors in the face and tell them I care. 2 weeks and I'll be "heading down south to the land of the pine".......On my way and see you soon.

Michael

pictures: where I am to where i'll be, if only a short while.

p.s. listen to more Ben Kweller than you are right now- www.myspace.com/benkweller

Not I but Christ....Really?

So- Longboarding the other day, in beautiful downtown Lynchburg, with the lovely Mark Mellette, and Ryan Zimont......Really and truly so relaxing after a week void of sleep and full of books. How do I like all of this.?....?....All this, is coming to a close. But to at least attempt to follow the subject line thought, I will get back on track the best I can.

Longboarding
Down mainstreet, and like any other sunday afternoon, there was no one. That was of course until the honking started. Let me preface the rest of this story with noting that we(you, your friends, and most anything will wheels) have a right to be on the road, especially with two other lanes to your right.

Refusing to drive around, she stayed on the horn for about 20 seconds......then finally, drove around and pulled over......But as she drove around, I saw it, those of us from Lynchburg know it very well, we see it often, a sticker that read Thomas Road Baptist Church's mantra, "Not I, but Christ" So, seeing that she was upset and calling the police, I rode over to her car to talk.....After many attempts to get her to roll the window down to talk, she only gave me a look that was nothing short of deadly. So through the window, real close like, I told her how much I liked her sticker, about 20 times I must have told her, until finally we rode off before her cop in shinning armor showed up.

I don't know what to make of that.
Thank God we weren't a couple of skeptical high school kids, getting all of our stereotypes confirmed.
Have I confirmed stereotypes? Have you? Do we still live in a state of dying to self as long as it does not mean sacrificing our beloved temper or short fuses....our oh so hard to penetrate bubble. But.............. as long as we keep telling ourselves what a good job we are doing, I don't see it really changing. But haven't you heard all of this before, haven't I? Is there anything truly knew to learn. The Kingdom is and has been.
I don't know what to make of that.
But...............
School is close to done and I will see my family. I will see my Guatemalan family(16 days). I will go to weddings and see some love.....it's good to see love, keeps me thinking that one day I might come to understand it a bit.....or something like that......don't care right now, kind of scary. Love you

Michael

And that's how it all started

"When you have insomnia you're never really asleep, and you're never really awake."
-Tyler Durden

I can't sleep. Two out of the last three nights have been spent rolling and staring at the ceiling......So I kind of can't live either....I really do feel moderately like a zombie going from class to class.....But I can doze in class, the sound of a professor regurgitating facts and information can somehow do the trick. So I guess I cant get enough of it. I find myself bubbly at the thought of crawling into my next class and sleeping right in front of my professor. Just bubbly.

miguaekutoicantsleep

pictures include what all faces look like right now

Accept the Cookies

It seems that for the past year or so, one of the few things that God has been showing me- is children.
Well, I should say has showed me as much as he has anyone who so chooses to read through the red letters. We see constantly Jesus' love for children. For probably the same reason we love children. They believe us. Anything we say, they believe. Anything we do, they immitate quite accurately. They love us absolutely.

In the midst of skeptics, Pharisees, and even his disciples constantly questioning Jesus, I can imagine it to have been quite refreashing to have children run to him for simply his touch (Matthew 19:13-15). The rest want a sign (Matthew 16:1-4), but the children just come. Jesus goes as far as saying that unless we become as children, the Kingdom is not for us (Matthew 18:3-4). And considering that same Kingdom is here and now, perhaps Jesus would have us humble oursleves in child-like wonder, here and now.

I then read this passage in Brennan Manning's Ragamuffin Gospel(Visual Edition, I highly reccomend it).

The Kingdom belongs to people who aren't trying to look good or impress anybody, even themselves, worrying about how their actions will be interpreted or wondering if they will get gold stars for their behavior. Twenty centuries later, Jesus speaks pointedly to the preening ascetic trapped in the fatal narcissism of spiritual perfectionism, to those of us caught up in boasting about our victories in the vineyard, to those of us fretting and flapping about our human weaknesses and character defects. The child doesn't have to struggle to get himself in a good position for having a relationship with God; he doesn't have to craft ingenious ways of explaining his position to Jesus; he doesn't have to create a pretty face for himself; he doesn't have to achieve any state of spiritual feeling or intellectual understanding. All he has to do his happily accept the cookies, the gift of the kingdom.

Accept the Cookies

Politically, my final word I hope

I guess any statement of mine regarding American politics would be my overall disdain for such, mostly rooted in our two-party monopoly system. In reality there is so much beef(and pork while we are on the subject of meat) within both parties that a monologue via blogosphere in no way really sums up my thoughts.

Either way

The republicans in one way, and the dems in another, pull, pick and choose from our well crafted consitution in whichever way best suits them for the time.

While the republican speaks of our constitutional right to prayer he also cavaliers the most unconstitutional aspect of our government right now- foreign policy.

While the democrat speaks of our constitutional right to freedom of speech or religion, he also plans to drain a taxpayers pocket for all matter of unconstitutional spending(as mentioned, pork.)

I actually had a professor last week say, "well at least this year I feel like we have some good choices."

While I agree that change going in any direction is better than the one the current administration has taken us (A never ending war that will end up costing trillions of dollars pulled from....you guessed it, you! All from a man who ran for office under a "non-interventionist, "we can't go around policing the world" policy."

I could not disagree with my professor more. Perpetual, preemptive war.....,universal health care, steps towards a centrally planned economy which would obviously do to this country what it has done to all the others who have chosen it- bankrupt it.

In all reality, I sadly believe that at the root of all of this, the Church, yes you and me, are to blame.
I was talking to a friend the other day who essentially was saying that we needed universal health care, more no strings attached handouts, more welfare(often perpetual poverty).......why? because the Church is not doing it's job. What would these people say, if the government began to hand out tracts, evangelize on the street corners, build churches? Well we would all be singing a strong chorus of Separation of Church and State . Well, how is providing for the poor any different than verbally telling someone about the Good News Of Jesus? There is none, it is the same, one Gospel. Yet Christians on both party lines would rather let Uncle Sam take a little more of their check to do an awful job doing what we are hands on supposed to be doing. We saw in the early church, the government did not mind the church, for not only were they taking care of their city's poor, but also neighboring city's poor.

(But today is a different day, many years later, surely Jesus didn't mean for us to do that now, it is different now...right....well that depends....if it is taxing, if it actually takes effort, if it actually calls for an emptying of our pockets or us to be uncomfortable, then surely! surely! it is no longer relevant or a biblical mandate.)

I guess that is it. I could go on for hours about capitol punishment, oil politics, a failed welfare system, and the overall corruption that plagues Washington, but to some this all up. It is us. It is the Church.

There was one man, that indeed I did not agree with on everything. But a man that knows the constitution, a man who has a dream and vision for America to once more be a place of peace. But sadly, America is just not smart enough to elect......yup, Ron Paul. Nope, he calls for way too much responsibility. way way too much.

Peace,
Michael

Mas

What a task, what a chore.......to pour heart and soul into a page paper about some book off the shelve, bought by demand from your dear professor for a book report. How necessary, and how dreadful. How frustrating to put heart and soul into the necessary mundane and un-biblical material world.

At his finest in my heart and soul I always catch glimpses of shores and dirty streets, toothless smiles of the Holy, children's sprints, their backflips, tears, recognized pain and suffering.........This Beautiful Mess................

Awakened only by my God-Forsaken Gas light.

In other matters, Joanna is in labor, soon to deliver my brother's and her son- my nephew.

Kataluma......a bit of a frustration the last couple of months.....but we are getting out of it.......design, database, logistics, the trip that will check for buoyancy in the summer of 09.

Still missing my family and loving them as distance continues to make this heart fonder.

pero cada dia yo estoy olvidando mas de mi espanol. Que triste pero tal vez, por lo menos ojala que, yo pueda regressar muy pronto- todavia yo extrano la casa de Grace y abuelita.

pictures include: Summer of 09, and me and Teecy dancing(one that we shall resume here in Lynchburg)

MichaelDavid

woke up again, hello to the family

well let's see......
food for thought or perhaps just answers to prayer from the scenario Gods....
Peggy Christmas, my sweet mother, has entered the blogosphere.......
so perhaps that is the answered prayer and the food for thought would be:

1. Garlic
2. Sugar and its origin(Nazism)
3. Breastfeeding and its origin(Eve and the sovereignty of the Almighty)
4. And last but not least- vaccinations and their part in global domination in respects to the Tribulation.

Considering communication is so dreadful right now....well at least on my part.....to the rest of my family, I figured since now over 50% would call themselves "avid bloggers".....I'd start mumbling again and hope that my articulation of thought and desire is a bit less ambiguous than usual.

Virginia
I miss my family
that seems to be the biggest, most impressed feeling most days.....but each day gets a bit better as I continue to remind myself that I am fairly certain God told me to come here. The house is so good and seems to grow everyday in many ways but i'll refrain from saying just how many there are residing on any given night(who knows if the city of Lynchburg utilizes their right to invade privacy via our Patriot Act).
Classes are swell and I've managed to get a good grade or two, though I hope from the bottom that my new job cleaning up people's mess at The Olive Garden does not interfere.

God
Each day I believe God, in his mysteries, is teaching me how to live and believe WITHOUT his consolations ie: emotion in prayer life, visible obvious answered prayer, and just a sense of his presence. I find John of the Cross's explanation of such times especially encouraging- That it is in such times, when we seem spiritually naked and alone, that The Spirit can truly work in our lives.

Good to see you again.

If you have not read the infamous blog of our dear Peggy yet, I encourage you to do so, good luck.

MichaelDavid

(pictures include: the climbing cave in our attic, meeting Ron Paul(so sad that America is not smart enough to elect Ron Paul....uh...so sad), and community breakfast)