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Friday, May 18, 2007

seguro, well i am not sure







pictures include, sofia´s birthday, the downfall of my hair and beard, last day of class, and our last outing with our teachers

not sure what to say really- Maybe- if i had the choose to come again would I? not sure
and the thing is, is that if you are actually reading this, we have probably already had this conversation.....

From Flores to San Juan Del Sur I have seen life- the people and the invisible struggle of the indigenous- but to quote Teejay,¨their´s is not a struggle ignored, nor endured.¨ Quite a shame that this struggle has not affect on America, then perhaps we might see a bit on CNN from time to time. From Chiapas where Subcommandante Marcos continues the zapatista revolution of words and truth, to the traces of illegal arms deals from ours truly, remnants of those arms in the hands of the Contras against Sandistas in Nicaragua, to taxi drivers and their stories of abduction........Guns, words, and corruption.....all in the name of for or against communism and power...United Fruit Company what? But yet there is no doubt, you can see Jesus, the spirit of the Godman who endured, you can see his eyes in the people, and i often covet those who have them, wishing that i was able to endure as they do, anything to know more of what i pretend i have figured out........GRACE, and the unconditional love of a man that i just dont understand.

It truly is a beautiful thing right now- in what is going on in Africa cavaliered by the likes of Bono, Invisible Children, and Rich Stearns......But people endure, invisible, everyday. From the jungles of Burma to the farmers in Columba Guatemala- their land taken from them, branded communist for simply sharing food with one another.

It would be so beautiful if any of these words i have wrote in any of these blogs had a solution or even a point some times.....

And so i will leave this place sunday.....bus up through Chiapas and on to Tulum, then home via plan from the yucatan on thursday.....thus ending my bath in people that refuse to face anything, thus bathing myself and anyone else around, in alcohol and misery, refusing to speak of the fact that our problems will become us if we continue to neglect them via buzz......but what have you, maybe i have cultivated a little more patience, though these sharp words might say otherwise.

Dont know if i am ready for SUVs again....dont know if i ever was, dont know if i have ever felt a part of mainstream Gainesville........Gracias a Dios

But what have you, maybe i will pull a Thoreau and become a mountain recluse, then a Donald Miller when i move back in with people after i have realized i am doing nothing......College is back up in the air due in part to mail, and the absense of sending in a deposit, due in part for living in Guatemala when those letters arrived.....who knows, maybe the Burg is calling my name......Blue Ridge where are you?

So perhaps we will talk soon, i have missed you so, dont forget that
Goodbyes here for now, but as Che said,¨the moments of goodbye, always cold, always less than you expected when you find yourself unable to externalize an inner feeling.¨

p.s. palabras y sentamientos, continuare. ojala que tu puedas realizar que mis palabras son de mi corazon. lo prometo. habria vivido aqui por siempre, si tu hubieras venido conmigo.......entonces, siempre recuerda y dime cuando yo olvido, por que es serguro...... TE AMO

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