seguro, well i am not sure

pictures include, sofia´s birthday, the downfall of my hair and beard, last day of class, and our last outing with our teachers

not sure what to say really- Maybe- if i had the choose to come again would I? not sure
and the thing is, is that if you are actually reading this, we have probably already had this conversation.....

From Flores to San Juan Del Sur I have seen life- the people and the invisible struggle of the indigenous- but to quote Teejay,¨their´s is not a struggle ignored, nor endured.¨ Quite a shame that this struggle has not affect on America, then perhaps we might see a bit on CNN from time to time. From Chiapas where Subcommandante Marcos continues the zapatista revolution of words and truth, to the traces of illegal arms deals from ours truly, remnants of those arms in the hands of the Contras against Sandistas in Nicaragua, to taxi drivers and their stories of abduction........Guns, words, and corruption.....all in the name of for or against communism and power...United Fruit Company what? But yet there is no doubt, you can see Jesus, the spirit of the Godman who endured, you can see his eyes in the people, and i often covet those who have them, wishing that i was able to endure as they do, anything to know more of what i pretend i have figured out........GRACE, and the unconditional love of a man that i just dont understand.

It truly is a beautiful thing right now- in what is going on in Africa cavaliered by the likes of Bono, Invisible Children, and Rich Stearns......But people endure, invisible, everyday. From the jungles of Burma to the farmers in Columba Guatemala- their land taken from them, branded communist for simply sharing food with one another.

It would be so beautiful if any of these words i have wrote in any of these blogs had a solution or even a point some times.....

And so i will leave this place sunday.....bus up through Chiapas and on to Tulum, then home via plan from the yucatan on thursday.....thus ending my bath in people that refuse to face anything, thus bathing myself and anyone else around, in alcohol and misery, refusing to speak of the fact that our problems will become us if we continue to neglect them via buzz......but what have you, maybe i have cultivated a little more patience, though these sharp words might say otherwise.

Dont know if i am ready for SUVs again....dont know if i ever was, dont know if i have ever felt a part of mainstream Gainesville........Gracias a Dios

But what have you, maybe i will pull a Thoreau and become a mountain recluse, then a Donald Miller when i move back in with people after i have realized i am doing nothing......College is back up in the air due in part to mail, and the absense of sending in a deposit, due in part for living in Guatemala when those letters arrived.....who knows, maybe the Burg is calling my name......Blue Ridge where are you?

So perhaps we will talk soon, i have missed you so, dont forget that
Goodbyes here for now, but as Che said,¨the moments of goodbye, always cold, always less than you expected when you find yourself unable to externalize an inner feeling.¨

p.s. palabras y sentamientos, continuare. ojala que tu puedas realizar que mis palabras son de mi corazon. lo prometo. habria vivido aqui por siempre, si tu hubieras venido conmigo.......entonces, siempre recuerda y dime cuando yo olvido, por que es serguro...... TE AMO

For Matthew

So the word is on the street, Terrorists(apparently those that can appear to be Mexican), have tried crossing the border into the States, from Mexico, with that in mind, and with the fact that i will be getting into the states the same way, i figured i´d cross like this(refer to picture above).........The caption which is not there simply says.......
..............................Whaaaaaaat??........

Upon telling Matt this he insisted upon a picture.....so Matt.....this is for you.

ojala que uds. tegan un buen noche, y recuerda......esperanza es una cosa buena, possible el mejor

Miguel

so apparently, Christy took this picture at my darkest(which would be a mixture of fluid out of any place possible for two days)
the bottle i am embracing as if my first born? Why of course! The guatemalan version of pepto bismol....But like ole Baylor always said,"if it wasn't this it would be something else"(if you know that quote i am uber proud)
What am i getting sick of? well if you are asking......defending.....in general...

Christianity
America
living in Guatemala

but since my time is limited, i will just touch on America, especially considering i should probably stop trying to defend Jesus, I dont think he needs my help as much as he wants my life.

America?
Apparently, if you are from Europe, history has been erased....You know the holocaust? gone
The fact that the entire rwandan genocide could be placed on the shoulders of the UN and Belgium? gone
The French occupation of Algeria ending in bloodshed? gone
(to name a few)
What are you talking about miguel?
All I hear is how horrible the ole U.S. of A is.
Now> do i agree with the War?NO.
Our history in central America(United Fruit Company, CIA backed Coup)?NO.
The fact that Pro Choice Everything on Demand is slowly corrupting any sense of responsibilty for our youth?NO.

But thats not my America......mine has hospitality, great food, mountains, and People...beautiful, loving people.

And as far as the powers that be? I would simply say that they are all right(Europe and all those that think i was dying to hear you recite last nights World CNN highlights) . We are no better than you. Just no different. No worse

(that soapbox was pretty sketch, i'm glad to be off it)

But life is so beautiful......I mean that

Me and Christy will be busing it home through Mexico May 26. I must say that as bitter sweet as it will be, im not dredding it.

I read through the easter story in all 4 Gospels and it was Good. Dazzingly Good

Miguel
(cuando yo regresso, tu y yo....si! Tu! vamos a comer comida, mucho mucho comida. por que entre tu y yo, yo estoy um poco enformo de este comida)

Acycleworthgettingover

Do i only choose to put myself down to watch you do the same?
And if you do, what have we done?
What is new?
Our conscience perhaps?
Or are we worse off then before? Prideful of our ability to admit and repent.
(Not like those righteous ones we always hear screaming from stage)
(¨We´re different¨)
(or are we?)
Perhaps I tell you I like attention?
Do I mean it?
Or do I just want you to parade my humbleness?
Am I just wanting attention again?

Seems to be an exhausting cycle

Perhaps we will come to the point that our shortcomings are embraced just long enough to think and thank for Grace....

he visto algo nueva, teejay tambien

does in and out of 4 countries in 6 days sound as beautiful to you as it does to me? the jist of it was this.
playa el zonte el salvador on sunday and monday
monday night we made friends with a security guard in san salvador, so we slept on the sidewalk next to him until 3 a.m. then we left for managua nicaragua, then granada, and stayed at the bearded monkey hostel and such a lovely experience...meeting people such as a southern hippie from Boone N.C. and our new great friend oscar from jersey...oscar spoke in a such a way of the Gospel....i dont know...i might not have ever heard someone speak so passionatly about the Gospel, wanting to know more of it, or drop so many F-bombs. Direct quote. *i mean this guy(Jesus) was getting nailed to the Cross and forgiving the Fuckers as they did it, thats crazy!*
then on to san juan del sur, about thirty minutes from costa rica, where we shared a meal with our french amigo fredrick, and got stepped on by our french roomate at the hostel(Teejay was on the floor and he(the frenchman was quite drunk)
then home, but not before we slept in the lobby of a sheraton in san salvador waiting for the bus again.....
It was all fast, and all beautiful, me and teejay prayed, which was almost strange for me, the first time in a while, but opposed to what i have been telling myself, the Spirit seemed to have been very interested....revolution is fading from the breath of the people, but you can still smell it, the guns remained and the resolve has faded....these people are crazy for life, in one way or another, and it is contagious.....
he visto personas sin ropa, sin comida, pero con sonrisas como el mundo....hemos visto vida, y nos gusto que hemos visto.....estoy vivo y tu tambien
puda vida
miguel

Soon

I watched blood Diamond last night, and was reminded of what I made myself forget, and thought perhaps if i told you my thoughts, you would remind me when I forget. I´m speaking to myself, and you if you like.


I find myself torn between the peaceful bliss of quiet days, reunions, afternoons and suffering. The neccessity of the both, but the urgency of the latter. I find myself under somewhat of a curse these days....Mountains look like graves. The ocean-blood. And the wind- sounds of desperate children inflicted by the sins of us all.......
Yet somehow we find a way to keep going, to press on to the task at hand: Papers, deadlines, socials, vacation, starbucks(good things in and of themselves with the presence of something more).....Somehow we found a way to preserve our innocence, while our children lose theirs. We forget that our soul slips away with every child. We stay away, or dwell on the necessity of tact for the result of real change, just long enough to do nothing.........
Ignorance is bliss. But what is forgetfullness?
There are 200,000 child soldiers in Africa alone.(just a reminder)
70,000 in Burma.(just a reminder)
There are 2.3 children dying of AIDS around the world.(just a reminder)
Millions raped of innocence.... (just a reminder)
(Just a reminder)
-michael

p.s.

We wont always be like this.....it is our only consolation that we know in our hearts that the time has not yet come....And it is our only thorn, that we still hear the bullets, we can taste the salt from their eyes in our water, our pulse is our only thorn.....Its slows us down just long enough to pour our hearts onto paper, and go to sleep.....And although our tactful rhetoric may impress you, it doesn´t do much for us. Somewhere inside we know that words followed by sleep are often empty. We talk. We sleep. We ride around and see our peaceful country, our friends. We impress with our tact and revolution filled vocabulary. We talk. But it wont always be like this. Sooner than later we will be missing in action. We will be killed in action. Because it seems without a willingness to die, we may not be alive. We know that the future, really does not exist. But it will, it will come to us or we will go to it- and eternally enjoy or endure it. And as much as we like the view, the peace and quiet, we cant stay long. We have children, waiting for us to come home. Thousands of children- waiting, crying, dying. We must go soon and perhaps you´ll come. We are what we want and need. We are what they want and need. We are starting to realize, that we are to be patriots of no country, but of a Kingdom with a King who belives in us. We are a revolutionary plan, and there is no one else. There is no plan B. And for that, we leave soon. We are coming soon, we´ll be together. Perhaps just one more time, hold on. Hope. Know that it can be done. Change. And we can do it. Believe in us. He does.
-us

por que me pregunta

without pictures i feel liberated.....because being the computer illiterate person i am...it takes what takes my friends mere moments, me.....well much more time......i am in an interesting place.....yeah i know, the poor man´s europe, thanks for rubbing it in.....sorry Anna i am in central america(you are right! ugh! it is so dirty)(una broma).....anyways....i realized i am not testing the experiment....i´m gathering information.....we all remember the 5th grade science projects....how fun was it pouring that aweful smelling vinegar down the hatch? well i am not doing that....in fact i dont think that will come....for quite some time....gathering information- i dont know how to start a revolution......i barely know how to follow one.....and even if i could start one, i dont think i would..... it seems the best revolutions have no leaders, only examples....plus i dont think i´d be a very good one...i cant spell well for starters.........so i find myself starving for stories, searching for needs, trying to find out how to get there....trying to gather the information of the people, of myself. i have to believe that it is for you....i have to believe that God´s plan to give the Kingdom is within you and me......Not knowing where i´m going has to be the best place for me......i think i may finally be out of the way and ready to follow......because it is about Love, and i want to find it...unconditionally.......because you my friend...need to be loved....i need to be loved..
puda vida
miguel